Two days ago.
Hello there. It�s been a while huh? Much of stuff in my head has drained out, and good thing I thought about typing a few words the other day, though I couldn�t get online to post. So here it is:
30 October 2003
Thursday, 8.42p
San Pedro, Laguna
Here is me, with thoughts piling up for not having written anything in the past week. Some things I’ve been obsessing about these past days:
Hype. n. A word that fits the age.
Getting Married. Has the hype among girls about getting married already gone to the sewers? I think so. Might be because I’m not around a lot of women my age, or maybe just not around the hyped type. Most of my friends are single (except Marla, the one who was married recently and another who’s almost annulled). Most are in relationships, well ok… everyone’s in a relationship. No wait, Sammy’s not. He was, but not yet, again. Anyway, no bells are ringing for anyone else just yet.
I’m 25, and not getting younger. Decades ago, being unmarried at this age was unheard of, or so it seemed to me. Unconsciously, I asked Cleo (during Marla’s wedding)how old her parents got married. Cleo’s mom was a year younger than our age now, and her dad was 5 years her mom’s senior. My mom was 18 when she and dad got together, and my dad is 6 years her senior. She was 19 when she had my brother, and I’m a year older than she was when she had me.
It could be just the times. Back then, most people seemed to want to get married and have babies while they were young. Jack Geller puts it well in F.R.I.E.N.D.S. As a child, I recall counting the years ’til the clock strikes “eighteen years old”, when it would be time for me to be a “woman”. I can hardly recall my debut year, and ’til now I still don’t feel too grown up at this age. Did women back then mature much faster than the women of today? Or the opposite? My take… hmm, I can’t decide.
On women getting married. First, a random thought: Is it a sin to fall in love with an incredibly perfect but hideously beauty-impaired person, when you are obsessed on by most to be the goddess (or god) of beauty and perfection yourself? And I don’t mean just plain pretty, but the gorgeous type. I know it’s a ridiculous thought. Sure, not all people think alike. For sure, some people, if not most, are judgmental. I admit I cannot help being judgmental. I reserve the evil comments about other people for conversations with my mom and closest friends (people I can count with fingers on one hand). But I can’t help objecting when I see a beautiful lady being wed to an ugly guy. But it seems to be the hype these days. Aha! You thought I was off-topic, but there you go! Ehem… Donita Rose Cavett (omg, how do I know her name? lol) was married to this yucky but decent enough looking gentleman in California this year. (Fine fine… I admit I watch a bit of showbiz news.) And look at Mikee Cojuangco! Err.. ah whatever. The guys are rich anyway. It all boils down to that? Who know what their loves stories are. This onlooker is just making an evil comment. I know it’s an evil thought, it’s just a thought anyhow. And it’s not even personal, obviously. I am not attractive, not to my own ogling standards, so It has nothing to do with my own love life. (=P)
But that’s not my main point. It’s this other thing… maybe Sammy would be the guy to ask, since he’s the most single guy among us anyhow. (=P) There’s this deodorant ad that shows a guy asking a girl if she was married, and when she answered no, he sighs and smiles. Question is, Do women become less attractive when they get married? After all, what is the general idea? Men scout around for attractive women, take their pick, ask her out, and if it works out, then it’s for keeps. Or some variation of the generality. Doesn’t matter
anyway right? ‘Cause when you’re married, you’re out of the game anyway. Still, the question stands. On my side of the coin, a person’s status in marriage spells a lot on another’s impression on him/her. What seems unfair is how it spells for married men vs. married women. Not only impressions, think about all the implications too. One. Women change their surnames when they get married. This practically changes their identity. The paper trail I have left in the first quarter of my existence has grown so much, I can’t imagine keeping track anymore. When I wear his ring and say “I do”, that would mean erasing my mother’s maiden name from mine. It personally isn’t too big a deal, but well, I wonder how this practice came into being. Aside from that, men can choose to claim single status just by slipping off her ring, even when he flashes a choice ID card there wouldn’t be anything there to show he’s married. Made me think about keeping my name as it is, hyphenating my husband-to-be’s surname, for life. I wonder if that is possible. Two. At one point, some women get knocked up in wedlock, and who wouldn’t notice that?? I have nothing against bringing a child into this cruel world, but the mom… even before the hellish time of the toddler years, would have to cope with nine months of judgmental ogling from people like me. After which, bye-bye to the figure that once was (or never was in my case), unless she’s one of the lucky girls with terrific figure-friendly metabolism.
Alright, I’ve never been there, so plainly that’s why I have all these rants. Hopefully, I would forget about obsessing this way when I cross my own bridge.
The Filipino at All Souls’ Day. There’s an ongoing seasonal pinoy hype. This weekend, while western culture dictates a holiday of Jack O’Lanterns and candy, pinoys flock to their families, mostly to the far-reaching provinces of the country. And then, in full-family-force, trample on the evergreens of the Eternal Gardens of their departed family. I know, not a big deal right? Every culture has its own way of paying respects to the dead, so how should this pinoy tradition be any special? For one thing, Pinoys go visit the graves of their dead all on the same day, to clean and repaint the stones all on the same day, to lay flowers and chant prayers all on the same day, to light candles and gnaw on mani(native roasted peanuts) and salty shells of butong pakwan (melon seeds) all on the same day. It would be mere stupidity or plain insanity to even imagine going to visit your own relatives residing just cities away. Major highways turn to nightmares, especially those in the vicinity of sea ports, bus terminals and airports. It’s like Christmas season a few months early. Hellish, this holiday’s notierity for its effect on the usual traffic awards overtime pay to DOTC guys, so I guess it’s not all bad. Not to mention the perfect alibi to laze around the house for at least 3 entire days.
Reality Shows. Pinoy TV refuses to be left behind as GMA-7 starts a new trend of reality shows. I’m itching to start by saying “What is it with reality shows that people buy into these things?” Oh well, there you go. Couldn’t be helped. There is a troop of Survivor fanatics out there, I know. The groupie-like crowd of The Bachelor-type shows, and also the action-lovers like silverh who have a trip watching Combat Missions. My mom’s a lot entertained with Starstruck, the artista (actor/actress) search reality show in GMA. Thousands of hopefuls went to the auditions, and after 3 episodes GMA-7 has narrowed down their players to 60, and just now there are 30 left. They show footages of the losers crying, disappointed, laughing and overjoyed. Bah, I won’t be self-righteous and say I don’t enjoy watching these shows. There is a mysterious appeal to these shows that catches my attention when I chance upon them in one of my absent-minded channel surfing. Yet I c
an’t shake the strange jitters I get while watching these shows, as if chanting “fake, fake, fake, fake…”