Last 3 days in the hospital.
Ajay went home with his mom and sister Monday afternoon. Before they left I showed him that I could already walk around with little help, and I even walked out to the elevator lobby in the 5th flr. That was pretty fun. Ella was over Monday night and I was pretty excited seeing her, and I was again, chattering like a monkey. Ten times as much Sunday afternoon. She surely noticed the effect it had on me, I was out of breath nearly every 2 minutes. Later that evening with the other visitors from CSA gone, the onslaught of breathlessness came, and I had to be plugged to O2 again. The shooting pains were back, and I couldn’t get any sleep ’til the next day.
Tuesday came and Dr. M came to visit. He was confident enough to have my discharge papers ready, saying I can leave anytime I wished. I was bent on showing him that I was better, and seeing him that day was very reassuring, and made me feel braver that I did actually feel better. Only thing that was bothering me that time was the pain in my abdominal area when I moved. My limbs were stronger then and helped a lot to keep my balance when I wanted to move. My supervisor came to visit that noon.
Wednesday and I was ready. I was beginning to realize I was going to miss the hospital bathroom. When we checked out, with all bills settled and bags packed, I was wheeled out in a chair by a cute lady and a cute guy pushing our cart ushered us out. Down in the lobby I was asked to fill out a form, and was handed a long-stemmed rose and finally wheeled out to the car. The piano played and the ushers smiled. Surreal, these people. It felt like leaving a wellness conference, not an illness center.
So I was back home Wednesday afternoon, around 3 pm. Our living room was tranformed to my bedroom, where I had access to my books, writing and drawing stuff. Not to mention all the videos and videogames a few feet away. I had the big TV and the DVD player at my mercy.
Problem was, I really wasn’t mobile enough to facilitate the programming the first few days, so I pretty much left to my mom what I was going to watch if I wanted to watch. In the nights when I couldn’t fall asleep, my only activity, if not staring at the ceiling, was reaching out for the lamp switch to read a book. It was the perfect time to finish several novels in one sitting.
A week later.
I can walk taller, I can talk faster and longer. I take less than a minute now to get to the bathroom, and I can give myself a bath from the feet up. It is amazing!!! I could already recall with incredulity how I cursed that Sunday I first ventured of fthe hospital bed. When I clammed up and had that fit (and Ajay and Mama can attest to this) I sweared off ever bearing children in the future. In my head, I can remember very clearly, I was saying over and over “This is it, I feel like crap.” Now, when I look at my posture when I stand, one would think I just had back and pelvic pain from sleeping heavily on my belly or an arm wrong.
Something gross?
Most amazingly, I can cough and expectorate with ease. There is still some pain when I sneeze and involuntarily pose to hurl. I wonder if many people who haven’t been in my situation take for granted that these stuff are a lot connected to the abdominals. The sneezing part surprised me a lot, how it tugs hard at your stomach! I’m so thankful it isn’t that painful anymore.
And well, he had me guessing about what he got me for Christmas for as long as I can remember…? (i.e., about 3 months?) So what did the birthday boy get me? A set of four Final Fantasy VIII figures! To mention, there’s Squall Leonhart, Seifer Almasy, Zell Dincht and Rinoa Heartilly. Oh dear I could remember that time I almost bought that lookse Squall figure from that guy in the specialty store… I know this is silly to think this way about a toy, but it’s a liberating feeling when you have a moment like this in the present when you feel good about something in the past. Thanks for that Ajay. Ms. Heartilly won’t be lonely anymore. She’s got her Leon, finally! I originally had just Rinoa - bought her at regular price loooooooong time ago. (So now I have two, obviously) Then one Christmas Ajay surprised me with Quistis Trepe, Selphie Tilmitt AND Irvine Kinneas. I remember it all too well. Okay… I’m still only a little girl. I don’t care, that’s what I am, and hopefully will always be. 