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A posting streak is in order. Why else but because of this resting thing that’s going on for me again. Apparently I’m not fully recovered, and the stress of a workweek (not just work but the whole cake with frosting and other what-nots) has made me vulnerable. So lousily enough, I am unable to attend Nandy and Cia’s wedding this afternoon. I would’ve done anything by hook or crook to at least show up…

I’m sorry it had to be your day, Nandy and Cia.
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So it’s back to the mattresses again. (No Godfather pun intended.) I’m back to my painkillers, books, my trusty homegowns… I don’t know if I can warrant more days off from work next week. If worse comes to worse… I may have to quit my job.

I didn’t go to work yesterday. I had an iceberg episode Thursday night that I can’t stop thinking about, it kills me to the bone. I can’t imagine Monday morning coming, rising up to the buzz of 4 a.m. to start the ‘usual’ week.

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I was meaning to stay and type more… but I really have to lie down again…

*Note: When you take a full body shot, remember the person’s (persons’) legs/feet. *Peace* ^.~V

I was asked to write for a publication in my high school today, some sort of “class call” that I can hardly make anything of. I’m not sure if I did it right, but anyway, I’m sharing it here.
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1995-2005: Ten years out of high school.
Pen Reyes

First things must come first. I am not in the best position to write an article pertaining to my CSA batchmates. For the most part, I haven’t seen or heard about most of them in the past decade. What I do hear are bits and pieces that would hardly do justice to how they are really like today. That wouldn’t be fair. As much as I am eager to write about them, I can’t. I can only speculate. It only makes sense to write now about how I am witness to how things have evolved around me. If I were to write honestly, I can only be honest about myself.

But I have an idea to try to make this work. I’ll speak to the reader about you, my dear batchmates, and put myself back into my high school shoes. (Funnily enough, they would still fit.) I’ll do my best to stand in the head of the class again, presenting you to whoever’s reading this the best way I can. I will do this, knowing you guys are right behind me, staring them in the face. So now, let’s do this. I offer this space to the CSA Biñan Graduating Class of 1995.

Five years ago, I was asked to do this exact same thing. From that time up to now, I was made to reflect on the differences between then and now. So what is different? We’re all older. Some may be wiser. Prettier. Chubbier?

You wouldn’t believe unless you’ve lived ten years after your high school graduation that people can actually metamorphose. We’ve been through our share of awkward puberty, but no one ever warned us of the horrors of adulthood. For us women even! We bloat, we get pregnant, we have babies… Some of us are lucky to stay in shape. But for us unfortunate ones, I would give any day to relive my high school life to stay away from salt and sugar! Okay, before this start to sound like a Cosmo article, let’s get back on track.

There are some of us who are now married with children, or just married, or the difference of the two. I’m still getting used to the fact that they’re engaged, now they’re hitched, having children, while I remain a child trapped in a 26-year old shell of a woman. Twenty-six. We’re older than most of our teachers were back when we were in freshman high school.

Still some of us are professionals, attached or unattached (or semi-attached). Since these guys are who I am like, I sometimes bump into some of them on the way to or back from work. I get to chat it up with some, but usually, we’re all in a hurry with our own little lives.

There are a fortunate bunch of my CSA batchmates who continue to be in constant company. You would think that a silly high school barkada wouldn’t really last. Some don’t. But there are those who do. When you think about it, these people really do share a lot in common, and they like each other an awful lot. So why would you let go of something that works so well? Augustine and Alypius went far back into their childhood. They were a petty lot, getting into trouble often. That’s their story. I’m sure some share that same parallelism with them. I’m in awe of these people. Making a thousand friends isn’t hard. Keeping friends for a thousand years isn’t a feat so easy.

Though I haven’t been as lucky to have kept close with my high school classmates, I know I share a lifeline with them. When I see one of their faces, or hear their names, I manage to creak a smile and realize that this is a part of my past that was full of youthful vitality and hopeful dreams. Hearing about their success stories inks pride in my own notebook, as if a part of them is with me. I would try to deny it sometimes, but I am bound to carrying a 1995 icon floating in my own consciousness.

So here we are. Look at us now. Ten years is a lot, but it isn’t enough. Our life has barely begun, yet somehow it feels like we’ve lived through much already. I’ve read somewhere that the past could only drag you down, however good or bad it may be. The future can only cloud your vision, however hopeful you are about it. Live in the present, for yesterday is gone and tomorrow may not even come.

After high school, idealism can be quite addicting. You want things to go about a certain way, but then not everything can turn out the way you expect them to. The shards of time tick away at each brick of the wall, and soon you discover the inner chambers of reality. I think that’s where most of us are right now.

I want to talk to you now, my batchmates.

If I go way back to a decade ago, I was fresh out of high school, worrying about where to attend college. I was an idealist marching into unfamiliar territory, refusing to know any fear. But afraid I was. I was certain about one thing, and that was uncertainty. New faces, new places. But I came to realize, no one really has it all figured out. So as I trudged on with my head bopping up and down the road, I took comfort in knowing everyone’s just like me. We’re all trying to make it through the world.

I still don’t have a plan. I still don’t have it all figured out. I still don’t know what I’m going to do with my life. But when I take the time to reflect about my past, as I am now, I am able to see hope. The world is very real to me now, as I am sure it is for most of us at this stage of life. We’ve all ventured into our own highways and byways. We’ve seen the bumps on the road, and we may have managed to dodge some of the rocks and troughs. But we all know it isn’t going to be smooth sailing all the time. Nothing is worse than falling off the car and getting run over. We get beat and feel foolish with torn rags and bloodied faces. We wonder if we can ever get on our feet again. We either die, or limp our way to the hospital. But we’ll get there. Keep the faith, and we would see each of us have wings. Some of us are already soaring in the skies.

So much for metaphors. It’s been lovely addressing you guys again. Until next we meet, I am sure there are a lot of stories to tell.

Email: csabn95@yahoo.com
Yahoogroup: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/csa1995

Our sincerest BEST WISHES to Rheena and John, our very own Queen Arwen and King Aragorn. May your love for each other blossom forever. We all thank you for having us there to bear witness to your devotion to one another. Your wedding was truly a labour of love.

Congratulations!!

Pictures inside…
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